HOMELESS - S.0.A.P.H.I.A - SONGS OF A POET - HOMELESS IN AUSTRALIA - PAGE 28 - EMPTINESS AND EMPTY SPACES - CHAPTER ONE - THE ECHOED MIND

 

SONGS OF A POET – HOMELESS IN AUSTRALIA

CHAPTER ONE – THE ECHOED MIND – MEMOIRS

A WORD FROM THE AUTHOR:

Identities are more often followed from personalities who have been given lines on television.

I ask myself then, who is creating then the norm, if the norm is congested with lines on television?

Mannerisms, the tones, behaviours and how people aught to think

From the top of societies this plague identifies us as less than individual – and even then individualism is rumoured not normal!

Rejection comes from the few – knowing this makes it easier – finding acceptance though is, contingent on subjective few – some call it a rational but it is bias – why? - is anybody's guess

Saturday, November 15th, 2008/28

In the malice of a thinking is molesting when I observe the thinking of others affecting my life, molesting my will, and how they or I come to think in one category or the other so differently, so negatively, which is a deeper thought provoking my calmness, distracting and adding to my softness in all consciousness, I observe, I don't want to be like that!

These days, any emotions is considered a mental illness, but is this right – I don't think so!

And if somebody doesn't understand you, they criticise, influence you, and try to change you to their way of thinking

It is not based on individualism but, what they were told, common based on no individual thought and what they watch of television, how they come to a conclusion, which is manly a guess

The question then is, how would people behave if they were not influenced? How would I behave, how would I think, how would I act amongst the social imitative?

Empty Spaces

Privacy is stolen from me, like a dog I have no where else to go; tis under the masks of aids demanding enquiry in that proverbial thought they truly have rights, where no laws are on board at beckoning call protecting me I can harbour

The more they steal my personality, the more people, as I see, I become afraid to be them and their thinking patterns, I feel their disgrace in that despair too, but it is me who feels, who cares who feels abused

The more they rob peoples identity, invading privacy, they censor, the more powerless people feel; identity theft is in governance proclaiming innocence on the rise, how they think they are human beings but everything has a price, and we, we are their sustenance

Ideas are stolen from identities; putting people who demand possess, using any kind of coercive measure at the forefront of power and domination, upsetting, feeling powerless in a system of crossing wires – where social norms are not real but copied, freedoms are being taken from us

This factor is leading to a massive distrust, and that hurts me too; it is the shuttle and the tribute to the chaos, and those who think people like me are gullible, even strange, is an attitude growing around me with the influx of old worlds through at me, using old techniques so I get in line, in the new world

It is something not yet talked about, but it is, spying by threats and overriding privacy: imposing into the internet is a secret society in activity, belonging to dictations attribute, and but what happened to the attitude, it is told emotionalised, as if you are mentally ill;

It is none of my business what other people do, but when they affect me, it is but affecting me; so I will not look, I will not listen; it is not mine their idea, so I will not take it, nor their negative or overly positive attitude, because it is not real to me;

Privacy is so hard to have, harder to feel you have it, yet that is your privacy written in a right, so I will not interfere because my interpretation would be subject to my own lifestyle and belief, thus biased

You cannot rent or have the governance security without them interfering in medical documents written into your aids asking subjective questions; and what do they write in my files overnight is another question into freedoms of information blacked out

Authorities are just people affected by what they watch, choose to believe, yet limit their own individuality as if it is lost

Why, they even spy on internet interactions, and follow a person, committing a offence in every way, controlling in every way, and take pictures and take your privacy away

Even demand you do this under some law I can't question it's validity, as if they have a right into your private life people, and can demand you tell them about your life – where are the lines drawn now internationally, in chaos?

This is creating a rougher society, angry, thinking that, nothing they do is private, and so they let it all out and be vulgar spitting out your mouth

As far-fetched as it is, listen to this: as movie makers think, bare breasted women are the thing, women think you are strangers of our kind in reality so, what we see is sexism, but we do not mind – because its every where

Meaning we can't stop the vulgarity so, we know the truth about our nakedness, nothing is private, so, where is the bare penis and the bare body of a man in any shape, exposed in movies – see, the sexism is in what is missing;

What is more confusing is, that is the flip side of what women go through – which is equally not right – what's wrong is, people are confused about the business of living in restful peace

Something catered just for women, a naked man to look at is amusing, but why is this? - otherwise it is sexism and exploitation of a female on either side of the thinking, raiding the privacy of all of us all

It is a creation of negative exposures in the ideas of others placed into the minds of both women and men about their body's, designed by someone else's propaganda -

However, the designing is one sided propaganda, but highly magnetic in the designing, contingent too; So I ask, do men think women get high off looking at other women bare; some but no, but some may, but men do – how did they get that way – from television? And, how can things be different

Said, or was it I heard in my head, why do you not write, think or do from the point of the side seen from the women, is it because women are striving to be like men only with a womb upholding the male point of views in the process of higher positions dictating what they were told by a man? .. and, is that right or wrong, is the question in the dominance of this thinking a moral?

I count the days coming toward homelessness, anxiously fearing

I have no need for pity – when what I need is security

I am empty – my mind is dull – I do not care anymore what I am told

I am learning – I was never cared for – I am so lonely, crippled, and bare footed, body torn – it's as crippling

Emptiness

The missing inside the emptiness

Is a hole inside the place where I go, where my heart is?

The pain, comes from all channels, I swallow again choking

There, inside, that place empty: I scream, and no one hears me

I visit it often, daily, in a primal scream

I am called to a place that calls me its own

I cannot concentrate on what else… I am alone

What is empty, is needing words unlike doubts

Alone as a lost dog on the side of the road, would you see me?

My head down on the streets looking so dirty

Thrown away unneeded as a broken machine, discarded by entries

A disposable product emptied off the line, rendered useless, seen unwanted

I am alone in a hole that echoes lost

It has the sounds hollowed out in those plots

I hear the laughing of children with hope

I am alone singled out; in transition – a homeless female rejected… swallowing down what my heart pounds and there expected… set up and rejected

Where did everyone go I have known; now I know I did not know them, I see after all

Why have I been singled out into despair, a toll, a care – what good is it for, I ask God

People smile at me: who do not know in what you see, what I am hiding - gathered in the details of survival?

I do not stay longer than needed – one moment is hell enough stagnating muted in position for my body, in crippling agony

I smile back at people feeling every disgrace I ever heard: but the hole is forming and is amplifying emptiness black

That emptiness grows inside me as a torture of truth – as a victim of a poorer society damned in a riotous dissidence's

I can barely breathe – my lungs too are affected by my spinal injuries, so I cannot race my heart to clean my blood – my heart is barely beating

My organs are working poorly – I am an invalid void of any privateness in the concealment of solitariness frayed and endangered, yet provoked to survive

By Sussan Z. Best